My name is Jimmy Dimwiddie. Now, I want to talk to you tonight about an important consumer organization called The Anti-Shoddy Goods Committee.
Now the purpose of The Anti-Shoddy Goods Committee is to protect you from the crafty baddies that are selling goods that are grotty, dirty, dowdy, gaudy or shoddy.
letís take an example. Supposing you go into a pet shop and they try to
sell you a mangy corgi or a pudgy budgie or a namby pamby bambi that you
think is a ruddy pansy?
And the same applies to buying a house.
Weíre the people to complain to if an estate agent tries to sell you a filthy, slummy semi with a nasty sooty chimmney with a topsy turvy study and a gloomy, dingy lobby thatís as nifty and as smelly as a privvy in the navy.
Or a baby in a nappy.
Or a cosi in Bengazi.
Now, a lot of compaints we receive, of course,. are about food in restaurants. The other day a man came in and told us that heíd taken his wife out to dinner in the West End.
And heíd ordered a suki yaki with some really spicy
And the chili wasnít beefy and the turkey was all tacky
And he spent all day on Sunday sitting sadly on the potty.
So, he came along to us, The Anti-Shoddy Goods Committee
And we told him very plainly why he felt so ruddy shi . . . er, shocky.
So, if youíve bought a whiskey and itís made you rather
if you think thatíll do any good, by golly, you must be pretty silly, ruddy
crazy or just jolly sloppy!